DR. JOE RUBINO: Human beings operate daily to reflect a wide range of emotions with a multitude of motivations fuelling behaviours. All too often, people react emotionally to what others say or do.

If one's reactions are preceded by the emotions of fear, anger, or sadness, they forfeit their ability to act with personal power and effectiveness in lieu of a knee-jerk response.

This reaction is all too often sourced in fear and low self-esteem. People may focus on what's wrong with their lives, fear being controlled, hurt, or taken advantage of. They may overlook the many things for which they should rightly be grateful, doubt their ability to thrive and access the abundance present everywhere in the world, reacting instead from the concern of scarcity and the expectation of failure, hurt, and disappointment. They may see themselves in competition for the world's resources and the love and attention of others rather than realizing that there is more than enough of all that is good to go around. Many often forget that they will manifest what they expect rather than needing to compete for limited resources.

Whenever people forget that they are magnificent beings and that there is plenty of wealth, happiness, fun, and fulfillment to go around, they might feel the need to protect themselves from what they perceive to be a dangerous world. They likewise tend to forget that others operate from the same lacking self-confidence, scarcity of gratitude, and deficient self-love that they often do. So, whenever two or more individuals see themselves as not good enough to tap into the world's abundance and get all their needs met from a physical, social, mental, and emotional perspective, conflicts are likely to arise. The result is broken relationships, strained communication, emotional pain, struggle, and suffering. All of these are needless and optional for those who realize their ability to detach from the struggle and master their emotional response.

When people stop to realize that everyone else suffers from the same self-doubt and fear of being dominated and cheated out of getting their fair share of love, fun, money, possessions, and security, they can break the vicious cycle of endless competition and continual striving for domination. They can realize that cooperation and communication is more effective in producing harmony than competition and a focus on self-interest based on fear. They can intentionally choose to trust that others are doing the best they know how to do based upon how they see the world. They can assume that they act from good intentions, even when they fear the opposite. They can hold them as worthy, competent, loving, good natured and capable of creating win-win relationships rather than fearing them as hateful, ill meaning, incompetent, unworthy, selfish opponents.

When people decide to champion others by looking for the best in them and interact with them out of an attitude of gratitude for their gifts, strengths, and positive qualities, in such as manner that they are clear that they hold them as intrinsically good and worthy of love and respect, they provide for them a new and exciting opportunity for them to show up for us in this manner. Their decision to hold others as great (because they really are when their anger, fears, and insecurities are effectively managed) allows them the freedom to rise to expectations. By operating from love and gratitude for the wisdom and empathy developed as a result of interactions with others, they see their mistakes as temporary indiscretions producing valuable lessons from which to learn and grow rather than reflections of a fundamentally defective being.

The key to bringing out the best in others is non-attachment. When people realize that they have total control over their response to any situation, and they give up their right to be invalidated by others or control them, they will possess a newfound freedom that allows them to exit the drama of conflict in favour of understanding, compassion, and love. When people decide to be grateful for the challenges they encounter in their lives and businesses, they then see the problems that arise as opportunities for personal development. The secrets are to look for these challenges as they go about their day, to be grateful when they encounter them, and to seek out the gifts awaiting their discovery.

Exercise for Those Wishing to Expand Gratitude and Shift Their Reactive Nature

1) List all the things you can be grateful for in life and business.

2) In a daily journal, record each time you fail to express gratitude for a challenging situation.

3) Catch yourself reacting emotionally to what someone says or does and shift your perception in that moment to appreciate the learning experience at hand.

4) In your daily life and business, who are you not holding as magnificent?

5) How can you champion their excellence and express gratitude for the opportunity to grow in love and wisdom that they are gifting you instead of reacting with anger, sadness, or fear?

6) Who are you seeking to control or avoid being controlled by? Will you take on the practice of non-attachment in your relationship with them by creating space for them to be who they are?

Do this for 30 days and record in your journal how your interactions with them evolve. Make note of something that you can be grateful for in each situation.

You'll find more of Dr. Joe Rubino's wisdom in our Fame ~ Reputation Gateway