Maybe you believe, deep down, that you're meant to be alone forever that love is meant for everyone but you. Or maybe you think someone from your past was 'the one' and you blew it - and lost out on your one true chance at happiness. So now you have to reincarnate in some future civilization, in some future body, and hope he's there, too.
Even worse, maybe you find that because you feel such a powerful bond with someone that you put up with a lot of grief that would normally make you head for the nearest exits...
If any of this sounds painfully familiar, I understand. I talk to great men and women who feel these same things every day, and it's such a shame. Because when you believe you're cursed or that God has 'left the building' when it comes to your love life - you'll make no effort to have what you want or put up with far less than you should.
I mean, why bother going against your fate?
Just the other day I spoke with a woman named Lisa. Lisa is in her late thirties and has never been married. She's longing to have a full relationship with a man who will be her partner for life. She's ready to give herself fully to someone and has so much love to share. So what has she been doing all these years?
Well, for the last six years she's been seeing Bob. They're madly in love. They have mind- blowing chemistry. He feels like he's her guy. Whenever she's with him she has no doubt that he's the man for her. They talk every day and are very affectionate. There's just one little problem... he can't be faithful.
You know the story - she finds out, they break up, and then he comes back and says all the right things. She believes him, and the cycle starts all over again. Lisa is making a classic mistake, and one that's keeping her from having the relationship she deserves:
She's trusting her feelings
ahead of what her guy is doing
. She feels soo connected to him, and so much love for him, that he must be her guy, right? She's convinced herself this is her fate, and she has no choice in the matter.
When I first learned Vedic* astrology for my relationship coaching practice, it was not compatibility that was lesson number one. First, I needed to know if both partners were even capable
of sustaining an intimate relationship. Is this sounding familiar? Because you can be wildly compatible with a person who shouldn't even be in the game! And that was Lisa's problem.
Now, I gotta say, Lisa rocks. It takes a strong woman - one who is ready to change - to admit she's with the wrong man. I was so glad she called. Here's what I saw...
Bob was a classic 'bad boy.' His astrology chart shows he's selfish, moody, and inconsistent. He's what's called 'astrologically afflicted' with 'low capacity.' When a person has 'low capacity' they may not be a bad person, but they are not capable of being a good partner – with anyone
, no matter how compatible.
Folks like this should come with warning labels because they can be so confounding. They can be sweet, and funny, and cute. They can feel deep love, and act like they want a relationship. Calling all the time, making plans, acting like a partner or mate. But they cannot put another's feelings before their own. So - when you really need them, they will always disappoint you.
The good news is that these men and women do
come with warning signs. You just have to know how to read them before you've given them your heart and soul. Because it's easy, like Lisa, to spend year with these 'low capacity' individuals. After all, they'll happily keep their partners around indefinitely...their needs are being met. They'll take your support and time and attention. It's up to you to recognize this and make the shift.
I had good news for Lisa. There were a couple of other things going on in her Vedic chart that had caused her to be so stuck. For the last seven years (the length of her current relationship) Lisa had been in the most challenging cycle of Saturn that blocks love. Relationships that begin in this cycle are always misery inducing. When you're in this place, you have a tendency to meet those who are somehow unavailable; they live far away, are married to someone else, are working all the time, or just can't commit.
These cycles are so challenging, and so hard on the love life, that almost every person who comes to me for a private reading is in their 'Saturn cycle.' These cycles make things much more challenging - causing financial setbacks, loneliness, and a lack of support all around. But they are valuable in making us learn and grow and push our own boundaries to reach our true potential.
I explained to Lisa that her Saturn cycle would be over in a month and that her 'love blocking' season was passing - and that when it was over, she would be stronger and able to meet a better partner.
The other thing going on with Lisa did have to do with their compatibility...
While she and Bob had the very best connections for chemistry and communication, there was a big problem in the mix. Astrologically speaking, Lisa was the 'leader' between them. This doesn't mean she's the dominant personality, but it does mean she'll always be ready for more than this man is ready for. She'll always feel like she has to convince him to move forward in the relationship. Moreover, she'll feel more bonded to him than he is to her, and will always want more than he's giving her. Over time this can make a woman more sexually bonded to the man and consequently feel starved for his attention. It makes the woman extremely insecure and makes the man unhappy, too - he'll feel like no matter what he does, or how much he tries, the woman is unhappy. So it's awful for both of them. And it's no one's fault.
To get to 'happily ever after' you have to be with the right partner, you have to be compatible and it has to be the right time.
When all of those things come together, your destiny will have arrived. And you'll know it by how well things are going, and how happy you are, and how great you feel in your relationship. Anything less than that is not
what's 'meant to be.' I promise!
So keep the faith, keep your heart open, and keep going... your destiny is waiting.
*Vedic astrology is an Ancient Indian analysis and forecasting system, based on astronomical data that allows its practitioners to carefully assess and understand behaviour, to measure the effects of the past, the influence of the present and the tendency for events to unfold in the future.
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